What the crap!!


By abhishek kumar

I am not a politician, nor a link in the chain of people spreading out those senseless political calculation sheets through whatsapp and facebook at the cost of one?s very limited 3G data balance acquired through the hard earned money. And if you go by the definitions being highly celebrated with a huge pomp and show since arrival of Mr kejriwal a.k.a A.K, I am neither an AAM AADMI as well.

So who am I?

I wake up every morning and start up my data connection in my cell phone even before my left or right eye is totally out of siesta. I wait for few seconds to get a knock-knock of all those pending messages on whatsapp, facebook and twitter, I already know which is crap! A total crap full of – what have been the developments in Gujarat since arrival of Modi, a list of scams since arrival of UPA government in power, some slogans of har har Modi, some doctored pictures of Baba Ramdev, some cartoons of A.K (a.k.a Arvind kejriwal), some examples of how congress has handed over their long availed hereditary ?shakti? (power)in ?har haath? (every hands) and how our those ?har haaths? are getting ?tarakki? (improvement).

And all this drama of proving the highly debated slogan ? ?India is a developed country?, which Mr Barrack obama once said during his visit to India, goes on. The participants of this debate ? ?of course ? BJP & party Vs Congress & party; and the audience? As usual – WE; and not to mention ? AAP & media shouting slogans outside the gates of the hall that ?this debate is planned, fixed, corrupted, fooling people??.blah blah!!?

My mornings pour a sip of these highly poisonous mentations in my R.A.M which I just refreshed through a sleep. I get tensed and irritated reading those craps sent from my so called whatsapp friends, whose voices I have rarely heard. I mean these are such fast friends whom I can ?whatsapp? in any emergency and wait for them to come online and reply! But cannot gather a confidence to call them, because I doubt whether I, or they would feel as easy to conversate voice to voice instead thumb to thumb! And these fast friends make my mornings informative, with jokes and cartoons and keep me politically updated.

In the meantime, I managed somehow an early leave from the office to watch the India-Australia T20 match and grab my couch and the T.V remote in time. Actually before time it was!! The third and fourth and the fifth umpires were all on their peak of debating moods, as to who is going to win and why? I have seen these NTH umpires many a times on screen, they offer a very nice prediction of the result of the match with full explanations of such belief. However sometimes, I have noticed, they miss out one of the big reasons to decide a match -? Dollars & Rupees.

Anyways, in between those sips of tea kissed by the debaters, I find some glimpses of BJP?s version of Cricket, a full saffron screen with players and umpire fighting for a wicket! They meant it as an advertisement for election! Next to it follows our RaGa and party-kattar soch nahi, yuva josh! (young energy, rather hardcore thinking). Guys, all that is fine. But where is my match?

I know it?s all killing, but why do I read all those messages? Why do I feel like forwarding those crap messages to everyone else? Why do I scroll upon my channel lists mostly between the ?news channels? category? Why do I end watching an Arnab Gosawami?s debate while watching a movie on HBO? Why do I keep a newspaper window open in my office computer? Who are they? How do they bother me? Do they bother me anyway? Or do I want them to bother me and that is the reason why I keep on searching every place on the cloud which may bother me. But what kind of attention do I want from them? Is it the kind that the gentleman in Blue Muffler and a broom printed ?Nehru cap? gave us recently? Or is it the kind the saffron half sleeved kurta guy from Gujarat gave us? Or is it the kind the ?Madam? of the nation gave us?

I myself don?t know what I want. And these people know well that I don?t know what I want. And ?these people? also include the media, the movie makers, the so called whatsapp and facebook friends and everyone else who presume to have taken charge of my well being on their own. I mean, I used to take my better care even before arrival of these social media sites, my mornings were comparatively better since the time I started receiving ?good morning? messages with a political gossip on my cell phone.

With all these well wishers all around me, one thing I find for sure ? they keep me busy! Busy enough to even think why am I so busy? This aura of politicians and political gossips has hypnotized me! I don?t remain in my senses when such a gossip comes, otherwise there was no good reason to explain why I would miss a refreshing kishore kumar?s song on a music channel, for which, once I used to wait for Sundays to come, so that I could watch them in a program called ?rangoli? on DD-1.

The best business in this world is the business which has the capability to hypnotize others. You play a bike racing video game and you, for a moment, forget that you just missed your bus stop; you watch a comedy show, and for a moment, you forget about your personal problems; you see a beautiful dress and you forget about the balance in your bank account; you see a beautiful actress, and for a moment, forget* about your wife or girlfriend, you watch an India-Pakistan cricket match, and scream aloud over a hit, forgetting that your newly born baby is sleeping next you. The higher the attractiveness, the higher time you remain hypnotized! And the higher you remain hypnotized, the higher goes the business

Well, this way, politics can be one of the best businesses, or probably the best of them! Because it keeps the maximum number of people engaged for a maximum time in this whole world! And coming to the financial part of this business, it?s hard to believe you didn?t receive a list of scams recently in your inbox.

We all are clients of this business, and we assert our clientele quoting our constitution of the right to vote. We won?t let go this tool for a waste by casting it to someone unbeneficial for me and my people. For that, I need to be well updated with the politics, for that I need to read all those messages, newspapers and watch news channels. I will do all these things just to decide whom I shall vote. The vote which I get a chance to cast once every five years. Alas!? The golden moment of casting votes, for which we waited for many years, devoted all our energy in deciding whom to vote and whom to not?,? lasts only for a few minutes, and after arrival of the E.V.Ms, only a few seconds.

I don?t underestimate the power of that single vote, in fact if summed up, this single vote is the difference between the ?British ruled India? and the ?independent India?. But I am a bit bewildered whether, are we giving this thing too much a attention than required? Are we too much engaged into it? Does India require the same mass movement as was the India National Movement for independence? If yes, then what for? Just to make someone our Prime Minister! But what to do thereafter? Watch him dance within the ministries and deliver us something that we ourselves have no idea for! We were never so sure about who in the politics today has a vision, who has an illusion and who has a television! Of course we are smart enough to cast our golden vote to the visionary, but do we bother enough to know what are the contents of his vision? Do we bother to find a vision within our self? If yes, do we do a single act in a day or a week which complements with that vision?

We all want a healthy, happy and a prosperous India, and for that we wish to handover the command to the much awaited Prime Minister. I am afraid, with this level of expectation from a single person, may not end up with the same statement our present Prime Minister once said ?we have no magic wand!?

Of course there is no magic wand with any party! Nor are they going to attempt something magical and take India fifty years ahead from now in a blip. It?s we who have to work for our betterment, for our health, our prosperity. I would rather start rationing my packet data usage to 300MB per month and buy some packets of bread to the beggars instead! Seems tough but not impossible. And I am not an Aam Aadmi.

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