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Don’t Compare Yourself With Others

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Comparison is the death of joy.

-Mark Twain

We all have that innate tendency to compare ourselves to others. But there is one fundamental truth we must know, that no two people are exactly alike. 

There is no other person on the face of this earth who has the same fingerprints as you have. This speaks to our uniqueness as individuals.

We are on this green earth to learn, grow and develop. Each one of us is here for a purpose.

We are here to make meaningful contributions to the human family and help one another. We are all endowed with different gifts; it is our responsibility to use these gifts to serve the world and bring glory to God.

Bible is emphatic and highlights our uniqueness. In 1Peter 4:10-11 the word of God says, “God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen.

When you compare yourself to others with the intent to take steps to improve your own life, then it’s okay. But sometimes it is self-destructive.

When you compare yourself to others and knowing you can’t achieve their success, you begin to feel bad about yourself. You are likely to have deep feelings of resentment, hatred and envy against them. 

Instead of looking to what you can do to improve your situation, you might hatch a plot to pull such people down. This is the wrong road you have taken. There is certainly nothing to gain but regret.

Never wish to be someone else. Be yourself, live your own life, walk your own path and do what you are passionate about. Do work that best suits your talent, abilities and capabilities. That is your high road to success and achievement.

On social media, we at times see celebrities flaunt their mansions, posh cars and other material possessions. Don’t wish you were like them. You do not know what they are going through in their private lives and the challenges they are facing. If you know the blotches in their lives, you wouldn’t want to trade places with them.

Do not envy another man’s success. You do not know how long it took him to get there, the challenges he encountered and the sacrifices he made. Your responsibility is to work consistently, with ambition and determination to win success. You also have to be patient as success is hardly an overnight phenomenon. 

Theodore Roosevelt said: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” This is what often happens to those who compare themselves with others. They become unhappy. They may blame their geographical or family background. They may blame being born under the wrong star or not being lucky enough.

They may attribute their predicament to the work of household enemies such as witches and wizards. They may see themselves as failures and claim it’s fate. They may have suicidal feelings such as feelings of unworthiness.

Be content with what you have and find satisfaction in the work you do. This is to avoid stress and depression which can come from comparing yourself to others.

A very wise man said, “Don’t compare yourself to other people. Compare yourself to who you were and who you want to become.” This is great wisdom. Always try to be better than you were yesterday. Every day is an opportunity to work on yourself. Your aim is to constantly and consistently improve your life. Work on your dreams that are exciting. Be proud of every achievement you chalk. That is the way to a great life and to become the person you aspire to be.

When you compare yourself to others, it lowers your self-esteem. It kills your creativity.

When you focus on your dream and work wholeheartedly, all your senses come alive. You begin to feel better about yourself. When you pour your heart and soul into what you are doing, no space is left to think about someone else’s life. You begin to appreciate your own efforts, noting how far you have come, the challenges you faced and excitement with overcoming them. You are inspired to work even harder when you visualize your success is within reach.

There is yet another reason why it’s not helpful to compare your life and achievements with others. Someone out there may have more than you or do things better than you can. 

You may put up a house and think it’s the best in the neighbourhood. You may feel proud of your achievement. But before long, another building springs up that is far more superior and better than yours. 

To beat everyone else be you. It’s not isolation. You don’t want to live someone else’s life.

You simply want to run your own race. You want to dream, own your dream, be on your own path, and work towards the realization of that dream. You want to live a life that resonates with your heart and reflects your core values and beliefs. You want to live life on your own terms, a life you can be proud of. You want successful achievement that brings you joy, peace, happiness and satisfaction. You refuse to live someone else’s life. You don’t want to be a copycat.

Here is a quote from Daniell Koepke which sums up my thoughts: “Stop comparing where you’re at with where everyone else is. It doesn’t move you farther ahead, improve your situation, or help you find peace. It just feeds your shame, fuels your feelings of inadequacy, and ultimately, it keeps you stuck. The reality is that there is no one correct path in life. Everyone has their own unique journey. A path that’s right for someone else won’t necessarily be a path that’s right for you. And that’s okay. Your journey isn’t right or wrong, or good or bad. It’s just different.”

Yours in inspiration,

Abundant Robert K. AWOLUGUTU, Writer & Author

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