Family Status


Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming. You might think it’s too early to think about it. I can’t help it. I do. If you’re fortunate you spent the past holiday with food, festivity, and family. For some people, being fortunate is not spending the day or any of the coming holidays with family. For me, I’m okay with being alone or with my children and not my extended family. The feeling is mutual because you see, I’m the black sheep. That’s what THEY say. In my eyes, there’s another opinion. Mine. I’m the family scapegoat for all things outside of the myths and fantasies which have been seamlessly intertwined. On my head all sins are placed. No one is guilty of adultery. No one is guilty of lying. No one is guilty of anything. Except for me. The Christianity which is preached on every Sunday and obeyed every night during prayers has never been extended to me. I’ve made peace with this because I’ve accepted that the events occurred. I’m speaking to you all who have yet to accept what has been done to you or the beliefs you may still hold regarding a family member. Your crazy aunt. Your nasty uncle. Your worthless cousin. Your violent brother and/or sister. Sometimes it isn’t the actions of one person’s life but the words of many peoples’ mouths which have brought trouble and pain to bear.

2012 is your year. I’m a queen. My family toiled for 35 years in American slavery. In my veins flows the genetic material of two conquered peoples: African and Native American. You can see it in my walk, my face, my smile. I am a queen. I have decreed it to you on the moment you read this message. I declare that you are free from the status your family has given you and the status you’ve earned. If you’ve sold your body please spray yourself with ?Ho No Mo? and whatever you have to do to live a good life ? only do that. That’s all you have to do. I’ve stopped trying to fill that hole in my soul with low people and things to make me high. I no longer have a need to grab a corner or to commend a hiding place.

It wasn’t easy. It didn’t happen overnight. The Creator is still, at this moment, working on me. Like all great works of art I’m continually in progress. Here’s the thing. The end product is you. Only you can be the architect, designer, engineer, and foot soldier in the record you are creating.

Don’t go any further with a name or role chosen for you. Family status often exists to hide the sins, wrongs, and malfeasance of others. Choose your own status as you face the end of another year. Set your sights on the star of your very own choosing. You are not your mother and you cannot be your father, however, you can give birth to the best, brightest and most beautiful you creation has ever witnessed. No one is created to suffer. And even your transgressions are great there is no Earthly punishment which should last forever. And if you have children you have a greater imperative to throw off that jacket they sewed you into. Your children need a point which becomes an initial guide. When you choose your own status ? you are choosing your own view. They are your eyes. What do you want to see when you look in the mirror of time? Someone else’s vision? Diseased eyes only delight in misery. Get well and get to you.

Articles by La Vonda R. Staples

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