How to make your children confident?

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Children have fun on Dove Lane in Hotan City, northwest China's Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region, May 27, 2020. (Xinhua/Sadat)
(Xinhua/Sadat)

Doesn’t matter whether you are an adult or a child, Confidence is the key to success. Being confident helps you to accept yourself, trust yourself and have a sense of control in your life. Okay, now many of you may be thinking about what confidence is and where it comes from? To simplify it, it comes from our childhood, the way we are raised, the environment where we grew up. 

For every child, confidence is one of the greatest gifts that they can receive from their parents. It is much more important for a child to have confidence during their childhood than in adulthood. They need it because they are dealing with many more challenges. Your child is coping with their physiology, their development with lots of curriculum and distraction. So every parent dreams of raising their child with self-confidence, happiness, and health. 

CarlPickhardt, a psychologist and author of parenting books, says that children who lack confidence will be afraid to try new or challenging things because they fear failing or disappointing others. This issue could hold them back later in life and prevent them from having a successful career. Thus, as children grow up older, confidence can be as important as the skills themselves.

As a child’s Parents, you should be worried about raising a confident child. It isn’t a complicated task if you can identify the signs of low esteem. Here are some signs parents should look for in children to help them build self-confidence.

What are the signs of children with self-esteem and with low self-esteem?

Self-esteem or self-confidence is all about how a person feels about themselves. It is easy to notice when your child seems to feel good about themselves. But sometimes, you may fail to identify it. 

Children with self-esteem often:

  • Are confident
  • Have a positive image of themselves
  • Believe in themselves
  • Can make friends easily, easy going and are not anxious with new people
  • Feel liked and accepted
  • Can admit the mistake and learn from them 
  • They Will try and solve problems on their own, but if not able to, will ask for help

Children with low self-esteem often:

  • Lack confident
  • Have a negative image of themselves; they might feel bad, ugly, unlikable, or stupid
  • Doubt about they can do things well
  • Find hard to make friends and keep the friendship 
  • Are self-critical and hard on themselves
  • Can’t deal well with failure
  • Tends to avoid new things, finds change hard, and might say something like “I can’t do that” or “I am stupid.”

How to make your children confident?

Parenting is the most difficult job, and every parent dreams of raising a self-confident child. So they put their 100% in raising. However, sometimes parents can go wrong despite such efforts, such as giving harsh punishment, scolding, or criticizing their child. So, here are some tips for setting a child up to feel capable and help build their self-confidence.

Correct them, do not control them:

When parents are too strict or controlling, a child’s confidence in itself reduces. They may think everything that they do is always incorrect and end up making mistakes. Thus, being a parent needs to understand that learning from mistakes builds confidence, and it’s okay to try out new things and make mistakes. Make sure you help them to treat their mistakes as an opportunity to learn and grow and guide how to avoid harmful slip-ups. 

Never criticize their performance:

Nothing will discourage your child’s self-confidence more than criticizing their efforts.  The way you talk to your children is the single greatest factor in shaping their personalities and self-confidence. Instead of criticizing them, give useful feedback and make a suggestion. But never them they are bad at something or doing a bad job. 

Make them familiar with new technology:

In today’s world, where everything is being computerized rapidly, technology has become an inevitable and essential part of every individual’s life. Becoming familiar with the new technology at an earlier age can benefit your children. Educational apps, online resources, videos, and tutorials can help children learn about their favorite topics. Children can learn new skills, gain knowledge and create things in ways. It not only helps to build your child’s confidence but also allows them to be creative. 

But everything has pros and cons, so does the usage of technology. And if you are afraid that the overuse of mobile phones can affect the child’s health. And if you think the more they use devices, the less physical activities they do. Then get yourself introduced to some parental control apps like fenced.ai, Qstudio, Netnanny that help us set screen time limits and track the online movements of your children, keeping in mind that if children use technology wisely, they can reap huge rewards. 

Praise them the right way:

Giving praise works like a gem for building up self-confidence especially, for children. Children feel thrilled when parents praise them and acknowledge their work. Children think that parents are paying attention to them and enjoying the things they have been doing. 

Unfortunately, some parents try to hide their emotions (happiness) to themselves, thinking if they overreact in front of their child, their confidence will turn out to be overconfident, which harms their child in the future. But children may not understand it and often think that they are not worth it at all. Thus, simply showering children with praise isn’t effective, but praising your children in the right way can certainly build their self-esteem.

Don’t make comparison with other children:

Every child is born with a unique specialty in them. They are unique to each other. Comparing your children with others can affect your child’s psychology as well as their confidence. Children may feel they are not loved, less valued, and good for nothing. As a result, they become less confident, introverted and would feel a burden for their parents. So, as parents, you need to be more conscious about their words and encourage your children instead of scolding or comparing them with others.

Do not get upset about mistakes:

It’s natural for children to make mistakes. Making mistakes and learning from them is part of childhood. It helps them in building their self-confidence and be aware before doing something in the future. Make them understand that it’s fine if they make any mistakes while exploring new things, help your children see that everyone makes mistakes, and the important thing is to learn from them, not dwell on them.

Help your child discover their strength:

Children cannot determine or identify what their strength is and what they are interested in. They often tend to do everything that comes along their way, which is nice things, but there can be the chance of being average on everything. So as a parent, you need to pay attention to what your child does well and enjoys. Then, please help them to embrace that strength and focus more on the strengths than weaknesses. Doing so helps your child polish their strength from an earlier age that will ultimately help them in the future and be confident. 

Help them set goals:

Whether it is large or small, achieving the goals helps your child feel strong. It boosts their confidence level. Setting realistic goals and achieving them makes a child feel capable. You, as a parent, need to guide your child while setting a reasonable goal to help avoid the feeling of failure. 

Why does self-esteem or self-confidence matter?

Child’s confidence is the essential base or foundation for their life and how they will grow in the future. A child’s confidence built in their early childhood determines how they would succeed later in life. It also helps the child cope with the mistakes and allows them to try again, even if they fail at first. As a result, self-esteem helps children do better at school, at home, and with friends. Children with positive self-esteem feel confident and capable. They believe in themselves and their abilities. When children are optimistic and value themselves, they are likely to have a growth mindset that helps them to take on new challenges or try out different things and, if they fail, learn from those mistakes. 

Thus, your encouraging words or how you talk to your children is the single greatest factor in shaping their personalities and self-confidence. 

Final thoughts:

Confidence is the greatest gift that a child can receive from their parents. However, confidence is not like a pill that you can offer your child to build their self-confidence. Building self-confidence is a time-consuming task for every individual. Thus it’s better you help your child, guide them, make wise suggestions, give them useful feedback and try to be supportive and realistic since it is the key to help your child to build positive self-esteem. Confidence shapes a child’s life tremendously. Thus it is important to praise your child in a way that helps them to build positive self-esteem.

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