Loving Again: Experiences From Some Single-Parenting Mothers 

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Author: Scofray Nana Yaw Yeboah

One of the most sensitive areas of my coaching career is having to coach mothers raising either a child or children after divorce and relationship breakups.

I have observed some of the struggles they go through with subsequent relationships that come their way.

I am excited about the results after their sessions with me. I have had the opportunity to coach many single mothers raising children after a divorce or relationship breakup. One of the most challenging areas of my coaching career is helping them navigate subsequent relationships.

Through my observations, I have noticed a few common struggles that these mothers face. Firstly, many start new relationships to find a father figure or stepfather for their children.

However, they often forget that self-love and mutual love are essential for their children’s well-being. In such cases, the relationship becomes centered around conversations about “my child” or “your kids,” and the romantic bond between the couple becomes stagnant.

Once many of these women realise this and commit to working on their self-love, their experience of love changes.

Secondly, many single mothers carry unresolved trauma from their past relationships, which can negatively affect their present relationships. They may transfer or misplace their emotional pain onto their new partners, which can lead to further hurt and abuse.

Such behaviour can leave lasting scars on the men and even discourage them from dating single mothers. In such cases, I refer them to clinical partners who can help them heal from their past experiences.

Thirdly, some single mothers find it challenging to handle the post-divorce or breakup responsibilities of raising their children, leading them to settle for anyone who can help them. Unfortunately, this often leads to another bad relationship, and sometimes, they even have a child with their new partner. This compounds their reality.

Fourthly, some single mothers seek material support without nurturing a bonding relationship of love, safety, and care. While this may yield results in the short term, it can also set a bad example for their children.

Lastly, some single mothers may swear never to love again after experiencing past marriages or relationships.

They may desire love, but their past experiences may cause them to resist it. In such cases, I refer them to a therapist or suggest they seek support from religious groups.

To all single mothers, please know you are worthy of love and affection. Seek support where and when needed.

Revive your sense of self-care, self-confidence, self-love, self-investment and self-esteem. You deserve to love, be loved and cherished.

The Yin-yang energy is not a fluke or myth but a reality.

Scofray Nana Yaw Yeboah

Transformational Coach

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