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Marital Issues: The Pastor’s Wife


Pastor! Who says your Ministry will not prosper if your wife is not ordained as a Pastor or Rev. Mrs? A divine call into ministry is a spiritual matter. It is an individual/personal issue between the person in question and the divine caller. It is not the political or business appointment that many have turned it into, in their spiritual blindness and outright carnality.

Today, there are wives of church pastors and General Overseers who have been denied the freedom to fully utilize their skills and potentials for serving God and society better, because their husbands insisted that they had to do nothing else than preside over church affairs. Funny enough, some wives even pressurize their husbands to ‘lobby’ for the ‘human’ ceremonial ordination. This has produced marital crisis in several homes and ministries.

Divine call into ministry is not a circular or carnal affair. God does not always do and see things the way man does and sees them.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord” (Isaiah 55:8).

There are a lot of gifted, skilled and educated Pastors’ wives that to the glory of God, would have made tremendous positive impact as career women. They have however, remained in the prison of “My husband is a pastor. Therefore, I need to be ordained as ‘Pastor Mrs’ (to match) and focus on presiding over church affairs with him.”

Many a Pastor (Mrs.) have brought problem to their husband’s ministries because they were cajoled or compelled to share the altar with their husbands. Some even compete for the pulpit with their husbands while some have registered complete failures as full time Assistant General Overseers.

Yes, Jesus gave one key assignment to everyone who has accepted Christ as Lord and personal saviour.

“Go ye into all the world and preach the good news to all creation” (Mark 16:15)

The method of implementing this assignment depends on the inner godly qualities, skills and potentials inside of each individual, exhibited under divine direction, and spiritual empowerment (Acts 1:8). Doing God’s work is not restricted to holding a microphone before a congregation. It is about producing fruits of the holy spirit as prescribed by Galatians 5:22-25. For instance, as a carpenter, bricklayer, trader, driver, lawyer, doctor, engineer, teacher, artist, seamstress, caterer, policeman, etc, the excellent and righteous manner with which you render service to your customers without defrauding, cheating or deceiving them is already part of evangelism. This effectively complements and supports opening your mouth to talk to them about Jesus Christ.

Also, the reverendness or pastorness in a Pastor’s wife or anybody for that matter, is not in the title but in the gifts of the holy spirit inside of the person. The manifestation of spiritual gifts is not restricted to a physical church auditorium or cathedral. It is not compulsory that you acquire (and sometimes, obtain) the title of Pastor or Prophet(ess) before you perform your responsibility as a born again Christian. Can you see that those who lobby for titles in church are blind and ignorant?

Husbands! Please, release your wives to exploit their God-given talents, pursue careers that will give them fulfilment and expose the glory of God in their lives. Do not limit their potentials for greatness (which is yours anyway), with humanly imposed pastoral assignments.

Don’t get me wrong please! A Pastor’s wife MUST fully support her husband’s ministry. The method of this support is the issue under discussion. A Pastor’s pastoral calling should be a blessing rather than a limitation to his wife’s potentials, gifts manifestation and career prospects.

Yes! There are some pastors’ wives who were genuinely called into pastoral ministry. It is equally not compulsory that their husbands pursue pastoral ambitions like ungodly civil servants do carnally, in the circular arena. It is a spiritual matter.

In all this, what is more important is the great commission in Mark 16:15. The motive behind working in God’s vineyard should be to preach the resurrected Christ to the unsaved through our manifestation of God’s spiritual power and glory. This majorly reflects in our personal actions, exemplary lifestyle and utterances. Primary objective is to get sinners to drop their sins, live holy lives and go to heaven. Every other motive is secondary and could be ulterior.

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matthew 6:33 KJV).

The key objective of Christ’s coming to the world was to deliver mankind from sin through his suffering, death and resurrection. This mission is a complete package. “The spirit of the Lord is upon me, because He has anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed; To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord,” (Luke 4:18-19).

This was also the mission God gave Isaiah (Isaiah 61:1). Isaiah said this, word for word.

There are so many wrong notions concerning the role of a Pastor’s Wife and even, a female clergy in ministry. For instance, there is no biblical reference to indicate that once you are a female Pastor, Evangelist, etc, your followership must be women. This is a discussion for another time.

The purpose of this piece is to encourage all clergymen and clergymen’s wives, who have created marital crisis for themselves in the name of ministry, to go back to the will of God, which is a joyful, peaceful and exemplary marriage. See more details in the book, MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE WORK by Albinus Chiedu.

Your marriage shall be a miracle and a testimony in Jesus name! Amen!.

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