Mrs. Blessing, a housewife in her late thirties is no longer enjoying her once happy marriage after given birth to three kids. Haven exhausted all options and totally frustrated by her husband’s actions, she complained about her current predicament to a marriage counsellor, Yemisi, thus:

“I am a mother of three. I am not enjoying my marriage…
My husband is always complain­ing of tiredness when it comes to having sex and any time I visit him in his work place, I notice that he is always making friends with girls.
“Please, what should I do? The issue is getting worse”.

Below is Yemisi’s response to her. It could help you too in your own relationship:

My Dear Yemisi,
Hope you are not suspecting your husband of infidelity because of your observation whenever you visit him in his work place?
Seeing him in the midst of girls is not synonymous with his complaints because for all you care he might be free with them without any serious attachment. And if I might ask, why have you taken pride in visiting him in his office? You will only end up injuring your senses by doing this. No man is an island, you cannot expect him not to interact with his female colleagues.

You had better come to terms with this and hold your breath.

Now to his tiredness: You have to understand the workings of his job, I mean the nature of what he does for a living. I ‘m not his advocate, but you have to consider this.

You can only establish his claim if he has been caught pants down with ladies. He needs your assistance to get out of this problem if he comes out to tell you what his problem is.

If the cause of his tiredness is neither work-induced, nor occasioned by being promiscuous, he needs to see a sex therapist for counselling and guidance.

For you to maintain your sanity, reduce the frequency of your visit to his office and put your mind at rest.

Thank God you already have three children, the rest I believe is just for the fun of it. Let him know your feelings without any form of pretence.

From his reaction to your complaints, you will know the real source of his problem. Kindly keep tolerating him until he gets his act together…

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