1. Critique the ring:

My friend?s engagement ring is not like your standard ring. It?s different and judging by the caption she included with the picture, exactly what she asked for. It didn?t include a diamond and it wasn?t platinum. And instead of people applauding the fact that her man listened to her and got it right, one of the very first comments under the picture was, ?Nice ring but I?m still waiting on my diamond though.? Umm? two things. 1.) Don?t talk about the engagement ring that her dude went and got for her at her request. If it?s good for her, then it should be none of your concern. And 2.) Don?t make this about you! A lot of us are still waiting on rings but this is supposed to be about celebrating your friend?s engagement not talking about your hypothetical one. Chill and let her have her moment.

2. Question the timing of the engagement:

Comments like ?Really, so soon?? or ?Finally!? aren?t appropriate for this time. If she said yes, then the timing worked for her. You?re not the one who?s committing your life to anyone.

3. Try to talk her out of marrying him

If you?re her sister, mother or very best friend? and I do mean very best friend? and you feel like this really isn?t the right move, then ask her if she?s sure one time. If she says yes then tap into your inner Lupita Nyong?o and act like you?re happy for her.
If it is a mistake, let it be hers to make. Planning a wedding and embarking on a new life with someone are not easy transitions, she?ll need a support system. And at the end of the day, whether you think it?s a mistake or not, is not the point. Your friend/family member is an adult (hopefully) with the free will to make her own decisions. As much as it might hurt to watch, you have to let her make them. If you are not one of the above mentioned characters in her life story, then you really shouldn?t speak on it at all.

4. Compare your journey to hers:

So far, most of these pointers have been in relation to the engaged woman. But this one is all about you, boo. When people we?ve grown up with start getting married and having babies etc, it can be easy for us to compare our journeys with theirs. You start thinking things like ?Maybe I should be engaged now too.? ?I?m not even dating anyone.? ?I?m so far behind.? After all we went through school together, hit puberty around the same time and graduated on the same day, we should be reaching life?s milestones together too right? Wrong. Teddy Roosevelt told y?all, ?Comparison is the thief of joy.? Everyone?s path is different and you?re not competing with anyone but yourself. Don?t try to live anyone else?s life, I guarantee you won?t like it. Sure, you can take some time and see what?s going on with folks, even celebrate with them. You should. But be sure to get back to your own lane and do you

5. Agree to be a bridesmaid when you can?t afford it/don?t want to:

Unless you feel morally obligated to take on the role of bridesmaid, I suggest you don?t do it if you know your money is funny or you just don?t want to be in the wedding. If you sign on for this responsibility and your heart or your pockets aren?t fully in it, you?ll be the bridesmaid who complains about every penny spent and every activity planned. And that?s not who you want to be. Not only will it hurt your friend?s feelings if she finds out, the women you?re complaining to will know not to invite you to be a part of their day. This is the time to be happy for your girl and if being in the wedding is going to take away from some of that happiness, then you should be honest with her and just chill with the general audience.

6. Give Unsolicited wedding planning advice

I know for some of you this is going to be a hard one. But unless your friend explicitly uses the words, ?What do you think?? then assume she doesn?t want your input. With all the bridal magazines, Pinterest boards and other pieces of advice she?ll be getting from family (read: her mother), you throwing in your two cents into the pot might be an overload. Plus she might not like your taste. Wait until she comes to you.

7. Ask if she is pregnant:

Even if she is?just don?t ask this question. It?s rude.


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