A woman is dressed in a ballroom dress waiting to be asked to dance when she notices that her Love, a fine gentlemen that pranced toward the beautiful woman of two. They exchanged greetings and slowly moved to the dance floor. He looked into her eyes and announced that she is the rarest creature to walk this planet. Some time passed and they are to be married.
They lived happily ever after. Now don’t we all wish love was a fairy tale story like that? Here in reality, love has more depth than just looking into some fair maiden’s eyes.
Some people believe that love is just chemicals clash together, or pheromones intertwine with one another. Scientists have studied our brains and have found that there are three common stages and hormones when falling in love. Lust being the first step is powered by testosterone and estrogen. It can send signals throughout our body when it is time to mate. Those hormones are the reason that we go out and try to find someone in the first place.
Attraction is later introduced when searching for that special somebody out there. Once you find them, the neuro-transmitters in your brain makes you want to spend more time with them. It can cause lack of appetite and sleep because you want to spend your time with that other person. Serotonin is one of love ‘s most important chemicals. It that may actually make us temporarily insane for that other person. Norepinephrine is another pheromone that makes you sweat and gets the heart racing (Science of Love).
If the relationship is going well then attachment will start to replace attraction. This can create a bond between two people that allows the relationship to grow. Attachment can give the relationship a chance to possibly reproduce. In this stage, there are two hormones released by the nervous system. “Vasopressin is a chemical that helps the relationship reach a long period of time. It is an important controller of the kidney and its role in long-term relationships was discovered when scientists looked at the prairie vole.” Another Important chemical is Oxytocin. Oxytocin is released during childbirth and helps when it comes time to breast feeding (Science of Love).
Now all this science side of love is good information to know, but it doesn’t describe what true love really is. In Webster Dictionary, love is defined as a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person. Love can be much more than just affections for a person. Love comes in many forms: love from a parent, love for a hobby, love for an animal, etc.. When true love is brought up, our brain may possibly pull up a scene from possibly The Notebook. Why do we as humans crave this perfect love? Some people believe it’s because there is magic in love and it should be kept precious. In the reality of it, love is a lot of work that needs to be put in by the two parties. No love is perfect, but who says it isn’t real. Love has many factors that come into play: respect, happiness and trust. There are way more factors, but they all link back to these three main ideas.
Loving someone doesn’t mean having control over one another. When in love, most relationships want to respect each other’s wishes and hope to prove that they are worthy of their love. Sometimes that person has to be willing give something up to be with the one that they care for out of the respect of their wishes. People in love want be able to feel like you have a fair relationship. No one is above one another and are able to have enough respect between each other to see themselves as equals. Love can also mean giving their body and soul to one another and hoping that they will respect each other for who they are willing to be for them. There are people out there that will give them maltreatment of the person they “love” and not respect them at all and even turns off their phones on them in time of need.
When love is at place, typically people want to give their significant other the world, share new adventures, and create memories along the way. They make you feel incredible throughout the day, you want to return the favor. When they smile at one of your dumb jokes, it means so much more than just a smile. Your love craves to see more smiles because you want their happiness to match yours when you are around them. For you to bring joy into their life, shows that you love and care for them and never abandon them.
Being loyal to each other is very important in a long relationship. Love can last for an extended amount of time if you are willing to work for it. No relationship can stand a chance at lasting a long time if there is no trust. The person is always worried about what the other one is doing. They start to worry if it is their fault that the other one doesn’t love them the way they should be loved. They start to build this wall around themselves that only trust can take down. When trust is put into play, you are sure that they will always want you and only you no matter what the circumstances are.
Love is a mysterious thing that we have ideas of what they are. Whether it be thought logical and factually or romantically and magically. Love will be a guiding process that we will eventually figure out. Until then we will fall in and out of love many times until we find the one that pulls our heart string.
By Serwaah Bonsu
February 19, 2022