The Issue Of Marriage Counsellors – Part II


The only counselor that can help you sustain your marriage and tackle your marital challenges is God himself. Why? He created humans and created marriage. Marriage is not man’s idea.
So, “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5).

Beware of choice of counselors. When human rights advisers counsel you on your marital challenges, check the personal marital life of such advisers. Nobody can offer you what the person does not have. Besides, the counsel you need at such times must be based on the expectations of the owner of your life, derived from the foundation of his word, the Holy Bible.

There are counselors that are counselors indeed, but all you hear from many wrong advisers is about your rights and yourself; how to please your SELF. Ironically, Christian marriage is about selflessness. If Jesus has truly possessed your heart, it is no longer YOU that lives but CHRIST that lives in you.

It is true that there are many occasions where you may be lost as to the word of God to apply to your specific marital challenge or how to do so. There are even situations where you do not know what to do anymore after praying and taking several fruitless measures. This is where you may need a marriage counselor.

The Cambridge Advanced Learners’ Dictionary defines counselor as “someone who is trained to listen to people and give them ADVICE about their problems.”

So, a marriage counselor can be defined as someone who is trained to listen to couples, potential couples or potential parties in marriage and ADVISE them.

No marriage counselor in this world has a solution to a marital problem. A counselor can only render advice. However, that advice MUST be prayerfully offered based on the guiding operating manual for marriage, provided by its originator. Every marital counsel that conflicts with biblical injunctions is anti-God. Besides, it hardly stands the test of time because it is built on a sandy soil of limited human capacity and understanding.

Marriage is God’s idea. The idea is not from any human being. Every brand new car comes with a manufacturer’s manual. Any attempt to operate the car outside the manual’s specifications would lead to problems. In the same vein, any attempt to operate marriage outside the standards of its originator as specified in his word will result in challenges.

If your marriage has a challenge, you need to approach the right source for solution. Seeking counsel or a solution from a wrong source can be likened to seeking the services of a carpenter to mend your faulty dress.

A marriage can only work when there is an alignment and unity of thought and philosophy by the parties involved. There is only one thing that can make two different personalities agree and sustain agreement to live happily together forever. That thing is the power of the resurrected Jesus Christ, manifested through the word of God.

“For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ” (1st Corinthians 3:11).

Marriage can never work by physical power or might because marriage is a mystery. “For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery…” (Ephesians 5:31-32).

So, marriage is not compulsory; but if you have decided to get married, know that marriage cannot be fixed by human power, might or opinion. Success can be achieved by the undiluted word and spirit of God. Obedience to God’s injunctions is key. The Holy Bible is the ultimate syllabus on marital issues.

No marriage counsellor can solve any marital problem. A counsellor can only be used by God through God’s word, to seek solution. If this COUNSELLOR does not operate with the supreme word of God and the COUNSELLEE does not yield to the supremacy of God’s word or rely on the Bible for counsel, efforts might be wasted. The Holy Spirit is the best guardian.

“But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance” (John 14: 26).

Please, don’t die in silence. Let us examine that your marital challenge, using the mirror of God’s word. God has never and can never fail. He cannot start failing from your case. God is a problem solver. If you have your doubts about his capabilities or you do not believe that he can solve all your marital problems, then you do not know him because “those who know their God shall be strong and do mighty exploits” (Daniel 11:32b). Resolving your marital challenge is one of the major tests you need to confirm whether or not you know God because, who is God anyway? God is love.

“He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love” (1st John 4:8).

Your marital challenge can be fixed just like any other problem. If you truly know God, you have to believe this because “without faith, it is IMPOSSIBLE to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him (Hebrews 11:6).

Meanwhile, you can place an order for a copy of the book, MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE WORK by Albinus Chiedu. Your marriage shall be a blessing and a testimony in Jesus name. Amen.

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