Sometimes people don?t know what to say to you when your family life is in chaos. For a period of time in my parenting, my life was a mess. We faced family illnesses and kid problems that we would have never imagined. With God?s help, I?m still standing.
I have a few close friends who walked beside me through my own storms. I also have a few judging acquaintances who uttered hurtful things in the midst of my challenges.
Here are some things NOT to say to a mom in a storm: moms-in-pain
?You?re wasting a lot of energy on your pain.?
Real pain can consume me. It will eventually pass but not until it has done its work in my heart. Pain is never without a point. What is it that I need to learn from your current situation? I used to be afraid of pain. Now I know it has come to do some work in my life and bring me closer to God. Pain is never wasted energy.
?After the pain, the joy will come back.?
Are pain and joy only to be experienced separate from one another? The real challenge is to find joy IN the pain. God?s presence in the midst of pain is a shining joy known only to the suffering.
?Your own past sin has caused your present pain.?
Are you kidding? Would you ever say this to a friend? God?s grace is for your today and, upon your repentance and salvation, covers the transgressions of your past. Don?t let anyone tell you anything to the contrary.
?Your suffering is pointless.?
God does not waste pain and it shouldn?t surprise me. 1 Peter 4: 12-13 reminds us: ?Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ.?
?If your God was good, He wouldn?t allow you to suffer.?
In addition to offending my faith, this statement reflects a shallow understanding of the depth of Christ?s fellowship. Just because I love God does not mean He is obligated to rescue me from my pain. He does something better. He is with me in the midst of it all. Psalm 34:18 reminds us, ?He is the God who is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.?
Mom, do you feel like your life is a mess right now? Rather than fighting and raging against the injustice of it all, recognize that God is present with you through it all.
I Usta Homeschool: Things I would do differently
Someone used the word ?usta? to describe something they had done in the past. His inquiry was, ?What did ya usta do??
I usta homeschool four kids. Looking back, the memories are wonderful. The actual process was more challenging but still wonderful.
Before I had kids I had never heard of homeschooling. It was a concept that came to us as we fell in love with parenting and looked around at educational options. I had a hard time making the decision with my first child but for the following three the decision was effortless. (The first two were homeschooled through high school. The second two entered public school at middle school when my husband was diagnosed with cancer.)
old and new kids
When we started homeschooling, we did more than simply adopt homeschooling. I became, well, probably a bit zealous.
So zealous that I probably offended some moms who could have been friends in those early days of parenting. I was completely convinced that homeschooling was the ticket to parental success.
It was and it wasn?t. My kids are all decent human beings and for that I am grateful to God.
The biggest blessing has been how homeschooling has changed ME.
I would sure do some things differently if I had it to do all over again.
I wouldn?t let it consume my identity. Guess what? Your kids grow up! If you have solely invested in homeschooling them, you may wake up to not know who you are. You are richer, fuller, deeper. Develop those aspects of your SELF, even when you are knee-deep in homeschooling.
I would focus more on the child than the outcome. Test scores don?t define the person. Kids are so much richer, fuller and deeper. Don?t lose sight of that.
I would foster learning more than progress. Our homeschool was a pretty good blend of delightful learning and sitting-the-behind-in-the-chair-and-getting-the-work-done. The reality is that kids have to learn to read and kids have to learn math. If I had it to do over, I would do more learning games and less drill, although there is a place for each.
I would seek a greater balance with my husband and my marriage. Because my husband was not terribly involved with homeschooling, he often felt left out of the daily flow of life. If I had it to do over, I would do both: Get him more involved and leave some energy in the day for just me and him.
I would judge less and love more. My generation of homeschoolers was pretty judgmental. We had all the answers. If you didn?t agree with our answers, we judged you. Now when I go to homeschool conventions, I notice that parents are more diverse and more easy-going. Guess what? They have great kids! Even if they didn?t do things MY WAY.
I wouldn?t denigrate parents who made other choices. I cringe when I think about how I have judged non-homeschool parents. Let me send out an Internet apology if I ever offended you for choosing public education.
I wouldn?t copy other families. It is one thing to admire another family. It is quite another to glorify that family. Remember we all are flawed humans. Some hide it better than others. Be yourself, give it to God and have a wonderful time.
When you get to the point when you say, ?I usta homeschool? ? you want to be able to say it with pride and no regrets.
cmw3 d40 fountain-pen
Writing Your Book: How to get started
Because I have written books (both ebooks and traditionally published books) people I meet often confide to me that they want to write a book. Often they have been thinking about it a long time but they don’t know how to start.
My logical, linear inclination is to think I have to start with the first paragraph and write sequentially until the end. Not so. Although I don’t write fiction, this process has much to offer the fiction writer, but is aimed specifically at the nonfiction writer.
Nonfiction books consist of chapters, generally. Each chapter is one topic and while the topic is related to the book as a whole, chapters are often separate divisions of information.
As you begin to think about your book, draft a rough outline. It might look as simple as this:
Massively interesting title
Introduction
Chapter One: Chunk
Chapter Two: Chunk
Chapter Three: Chunk
Chapter Four: Chunk
Chapter Five: Chunk
Chapter Six: Chunk
Chapter Seven: Chunk
Chapter Eight: Chunk
Chapter Nine: Chunk
Chapter Ten: Summarize chunks and draw your conclusions
If you browse the nonfiction section of your bookstore, you’ll notice many books have 10, 12 or 15 chapters so this is a good start.
Next you have to decide if you are a digital gal or a pen-and-paper person. I am the latter so I always start this process with labeled file folders. Each folder has the chapter number and topic on the label. Stuff these folders into a bigger folder (like a legal folder) so they are all in one place.
If you’re a digital gal, open a new folder on your desktop with your working title. Open 10 Word documents with the chapter number and title.
From this day forward, every time you think of or come across something that belongs in the book, you write it down or make an electronic note and dump it into the file. My physical files usually end up being filled with articles I’ve town out or printed, scribbled notes, notecards of info, and slips of random paper. Your digital file would have similar contents.
This is going to take some time. If you’re writing a short ebook, the process is quicker. But if you are looking at a full-length book, this could take months or years!
As time allows, pull out a file (or open a file), organize the information and record your thoughts. Over time you will have sentences. Sentences grow into paragraphs, paragraphs into pages. Soon you’ll have a book.
Just make a start.
Source: christinefield@sbcglobal.net
