Zambia sings the Ghana dumsor tune


    (In Zambia, the equivalent of Electricity Corporation of Ghana, ECG, is Zambia Electricity Supply Corporation, ZESCO. We have been having power blackouts for a month now. This poem was motivated by my experience at Livingstone, the tourist capital, while attending an ACCA Conference. Enjoy reading and remember to email me your comments, positive or negative)
    An Ode to ZESCO-Power Prostitute
    Zesco fair lady comes to warm my bed,
    I welcome her with open arms,
    Even though I checked in single,
    Tonight, she unsolicitiously, and duplicitously helped me multiply my legs,
    I want a longie but she gives me a shortie,
    Nna Shakara lady ibe that ooooo,
    I bargain I want her throughout the night,
    To help her spread out her legs,
    Which have been cold and numb, needing some sunning, warming and tattooing,
    Even though it was past midnight,
    But she obliges and dopes me, dupes, and dumps me,
    And sneaks out to operate in other quarters,
    Across the great Mosi-O ?Tunya Gorge and divide, between Zambia and Zimbabwe,
    She sneaks quietly into Victoria Falls town,
    No man ever won a fight with this crafty and crazy beauty!

    She is on, one moment,
    But off the next moment, on her endless rounds,
    Indeed, a lady of swinging moods,
    Her head is always in the clouds,
    Her mind is full of indecisions and cobwebs,
    She always cheats on her clients, who want more of her,
    But she wants less of them because she says she is an African lady,
    And must remain vintage heritage,
    Nna Shakara lady she dey be oooo,
    She does not give value for money (VFM),
    Not even common mpasela or fisi or jara (discount)!

    Zesco lady comes to shine for six hours,
    Then off she goes to service other clients,
    Even across the borders she plies the oldest profession,
    Applying transfer pricing and price discrimination,
    And mints professional social consultancy dollar fees,
    She glows that she has to service other customers,
    Who are dying for her famishing, languishing, ravishing, and tantalizing charm and August presence in this freezing, inclement winter weather,
    She knows too much practical Economics and Marketing strategies,
    I tell her, I want to monopolise her and stay with her wamuyayaaya (forever)?,
    In my own world, perfect competition is anathema and non-existent

    But she flinches, and in crystal liquid French rants, ?C?est impossible! C?est impossible!?
    She says she needs plenty of money badly, but has to do top-ups elsewhere for fun,
    ?Even some married women these days do top-ups?, she observes,
    She says she is not afraid of HIV/AIDS or contracting STMs
    Because variety is the spice of life,
    She wants to cruise on the fast lane of life, like Lewis Hamilton,
    Or like ancient, adventurous Dr Livingstone,
    She says when she swims; she wants to get wet,
    She says when she?s in the rain, she wants to get drenched and soaked to the marrow,
    No raincoats or condoms can protect,
    She also says her hook must always be in water, and baited for the catch

    I tell you, this Zesco lady is hot, live, and deadly,
    Take care; she may switch on live and deadly any time,
    She is a naked wire, take care!
    Or she may switch off cold and expressionless, like a piece of log
    She is always in swinging moods,
    Is she a sow, a bitch, or a nanny goat?

    Oh, fair Zesco lady; have you paid your tax to ZRA,
    Or they are also in your pocket because you service them?
    This Zesco fair lady fears nobody because she is alive and live,
    Why don?t you stay with me forever?
    ?Tis because I detest malasha (charcoal) and mbaula (coal-pot or brazier) which give me teary eyes,
    Besides, I need clean energy like the smokeless, noiseless, and clean electric cars at Zambezi Sun,

    Those compound lasses from Maramba are dirty and smelly, but cheap,
    You Zesco lady are smarter, sweeter, cleaner and dapper,
    But very expensive,
    You give quick service or quickie,
    You can give me a quickie or shortie, I wouldn?t mind,
    But fact is, I want you for permanent marriage or longie,
    My love for you is burning me between the thighs,
    I dream and fantasise about you day and night,
    I wouldn?t mind even if you were a wet or itchy blanket,
    I?m prepared to pay any amount to possess you permanently,
    My elders may have their own thoughts,
    But I can tell you, I am the one paying the lobola (dowry), not them,
    I don?t harbour second thoughts, far be it from it, I swear upon my father?s helicopter,
    You can stay with me forever and even do your top-ups,
    Fair bargain, lady Zesco, accept!

    Oh fair lady Zesco, why don?t you say yes to my entreaties and proposal?
    Or you discriminate against me because I?m a foreigner?
    Your inconsiderate actions of late have reduced my libido, productivity, and Marginal Propensity to Love (MPL),
    In my country Ghana, they call you Dumsor (Off-on),
    They celebrate and venerate you,
    Even politicians can win or lose elections (not erections) over you,

    Fair lady Zesco, why don?t you take a break and visit my country,
    For your love, I will donate all my salary to you,
    I shall buy you an aeroplane,
    And we can fly together to Dubai for a treat,
    Or go to stay at Royal Sun in Livingstone for a wowing helluva of a holiday,
    And watch a romantic sunset over the large expanse of the Zambezi River,
    Where, I will feed you tiger-fish and big breams at the Zambezi Sun.

    By Dr Kwesi Atta Sakyi
    6th July 2015
    Email: [email protected]

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