?Though I am not edible,? says the vulture, ?yet I nurse my eggs in the branches of a high tree because man cannot be trusted??Akan proverb.
Warmest felicitations, Mr. Yutong Driver! I?m pretty sure you would not consider my letter an intrusion into your mailbox as your actions as the man in control of the steering wheel would naturally attract comments, questions and gossips. Being a very dedicated disciple of konkonsa, I would want to seek some answers from you before my okro-mouth starts blabbing.
Let me take this opportunity to congratulate you on your elevation to the enviable position of Chief Yutong Driver. It was a promotion which took many passengers by surprise. But hey, has it not been said that man?s ways are not the ways of the Bearded Old Man above?
As you said a few weeks back, the Bearded Old Man in His own wisdom knew why He sent your predecessor to join his ancestors in Samanfoland. It was obvious that the bus he was driving was going straight into a ditch. It was unfortunate that the strong Brazilian coffee you brewed for him to drink in order to stay awake was not strong enough to stop him from dozing off behind the wheel. Even though most of my compatriots perceived him to be a very bad driver, they never expected him to leave the steering wheel so soon. May his soul find peace with his Maker!
Your ?Amen? response leads me to my first set of questions. Yes, we all knew your predecessor was very sick. Some of you even knew he was close to joining his ancestors. But there is this suspicion among the passengers that you or someone from your camp did act as a catalyst in sending the poor man to Samanfoland. Can you, in your heart of hearts, say your hands are as white as snow in the matter? Can you also say that you and your ilk did not play ?chaskele? with your predecessor?s health, so you could takeover if he visited his ancestors earlier than scheduled? If your answer to both questions is yes, then why did you resist the call for a Coroner?s Inquest into the cause of your predecessor?s demise? Hmm, na wa oo!
I must confess I?m more than impressed with your public show of grief and sorrow over the loss of your ?master?. You take the least opportunity to bemoan his loss and glorify him. But it seems some of my compatriots are not as impressed as I am. They believe it is nothing but crocodile tears. They say you express grief publicly and dance Azonto in the privacy of your bedroom. ?And why not, his predecessor?s demise has given him the opportunity to be in the driving seat,? is what they say. Me, I don?t believe them; but can you honestly say they are wrong?
By the way, how is life behind the wheel of the Yutong bus? Although not very smooth-sailing, some passengers believe you are doing your best to change direction. They say you?ve so far avoided very big potholes, which is a sign that you are competent enough to steer the bus to its next stop on January 7. They therefore believe you are the most qualified driver to continue after the next stop.
But others see things differently. They say your best would not be enough to steer the bus away from the ditch ahead. They believe you are as incompetent as your predecessor, so they would not be deceived by the melodious tune you are singing. They are therefore calling on all shareholders to change you as the driver after the next stop.
As you are already aware, most of your passengers are also shareholders of the Yutong bus company. So they are as concerned with the finances of the company as they are with the safety of the bus and their lives. One of the serious criticisms against your predecessor was that he colluded with corrupt conductors and mechanics on the bus to siphon millions of cowries belonging to the company in the name of judgement debt. They wonder how you could claim innocence in the matter, as you were a party to all the dubious transactions which took place.
Lest I forget, there is this talk about you which saddens my heart so much. The rumour mill has it that you are one driver who has a very strong langa-langa which does not spare beautiful lady passengers on board. It is widely rumoured that lady passengers with protruded behinds make you lose concentration easily. They therefore wonder how safe they are in the hands of such a driver.
Please do not be offended for I?m not only asking to satisfy my curiosity, but also clear the fog in the skulls of the other passengers. You need to clear the air, because saying your wife understands does not justify your actions.
You are also on record to have said you would neither tolerate foul-mouthed conductors nor strong-teethed ones. Why then don?t you back your words with action, when most of your foul-mouthed conductors shamelessly tongue-lash any passenger who dared to comment on your style of driving? Not even the clergy are spared.
Many passengers still have doubts in your abilities as a driver. But one thing all passengers agree on is that you do not have a foul-mouth. It is therefore a very big blot on your character if you allow errant conductors to go scot-free. Do remember that only one fly causes the whole carcass of a cow to rot.
I have a lot to say, but I guess I must go now to allow you concentrate fully on your driving. It is my prayer that nothing, I repeat, nothing, makes you lose concentration behind the steering wheel. Not even the very protruded behind of an extremely beautiful damsel, I must add.
Safe driving, Mr. Yutong Driver!
