Tizo, Tizo, Tizo,? he shouted, I could hear his foot steps from the second floor of the scholasticate. It was our ?sortie continua? and all the students had disappeared to town to breath fresh air. As Modestus shouted my name joyfully I wondered what the good news was. Surely if the news was not meant for me I thought I am already the ?primus inter peres? (first among equals) in the promotion the highest post someone of my status can occupy. All the same, I reasoned, one may never know. Also I waited for Modestus who had gone to ?centre ville? in the Cameroonian capital Yaounde to reach my room and dilute the excess joy that intoxicated him.
Finally he made it to my room, Tizo could you imagine I bought a ?pentalon jean? (trousers) as cheap as five hundred CFA? What? I should jump out??of my bed in total bewilderment. Wonder shall never end. Impressed by tributes on his bargaining prowess, he boasted like Angulu who had gone out to woo a girl with a borrowed vehicle. Mode, why not show me the trousers I submitted after my praise galore on him. He immediately went for the three thousand naira worth jean trousers he bought for a five hundred CFA (N120). Not even mr. tortoise the wisest in the animal could imagine what we saw. My friend only succeeded in buying a one hundred and twenty naira worth of rags and filth in the name of a jean trouser. He nearly fainted but I made him realize that other mugus existed before him and that he will not be the last. My friend became the newest ?mugu? in Yaounde? that?Sunday. That single event broke the Emmaus bread in the scolasticate. If not the love of apian way that turned my friend into a ?mugu?, what could have robbed him his common sense???My friend could not see the hand writing on the wall, he wanted it fast and cheap no doubt ?apain way? solved his problem.
My secondary school principal told us that apain way was the short-cut and hidden way Saint Peter wanted to use to escape the blood thirsty Roman Emperor before he met Jesus Christ midway his journey . ?quo vadis ? (where to Lord) Peter asked the Lord immediately. Jesus responded rather intelligently I am on my way to Rome to be crucified for the second time? the rest as they say is now history. No doubt, with the happenings in the recent past and contemporary present one will not be found guilty by the supreme court of religion for shouting in Ariaria market that Christians have not only fallen in love with the apian way but have espoused it. The bees of ?madeism? (quest for already made item) have already stung our religious, social and political life as a people and nation. The resultant effect of these malaises, is the commercializing, instrumentalization and politicization of religion. The Tom, Dick and Harry claiming to be pastors now have the ?expo? to the land of prosperity all we need to do is the famous ?sorting? in ?naira? and kobo? and their god will get your problem sorted out by catapulting you to the land of celebrity, after which you organize a number of thanksgiving.
Like my friend, why must we wish to buy a jean of three thousand naira for a hundred and twenty naira? Can we really reconcile these two quarreling realities? We wish to participate in the sumptuous banquet?on Sunday?but reject not the pains of Good?Friday. We profess and illuminating love for the crown but deny the cross the same. As a wife, if my husband does have all the money to solve my problems, the apian way becomes a preferred option. My faith, dignity and marital fidelity are thrown to the wolves. Alhaji can have me as much as he plays the game according to the rules. Your wife is dying of loneliness yet you have vowed to know the colours of panties every Amina, Nkechi and Tosin wears. You are a lecturer and an elder in the church yet you have sworn before ?god of sexcapades? that Nigerian university cannot have virgins as graduates. Why must I study since I got what it takes for the lecturer to give me a credit? Who said trade by barter is a sin?baby oku?demands? Yet on Sundays our churches are filled with Christians. In fact the door of possibility, of renting out half of my room for any pastor that can foot the bill is not closed. After all the nairalised church enterprise is the highest employer of labour in Nigeria.
Everybody is in haste to an unknown destination. Instead of religion of conviction, we have a religion of convenience, a cult that tell us what we want to hear and falsely assures us of giving us all we want to have. We dodge reality and responsibility; accept ?miracleism, fanaticism, emotionalism, anti?intellectualism? in a bid to marry the glorious mystery, kissing joyful mystery and romancing the luminous mystery of life forgetting that a giant was once a boy.
Apian wayism is a disease that should be avoided like the way the Jews of old kept lepers at arms length. Ananias and his wife in the Acts of apostle were disciples of apian way. Yes, in their foolishness, they wanted to rob Peter and pay Paul. James and John the son of Zebedee also wanted to romance this philosophy. They wanted the ?numero un? position in the republic of Jesus Christ but made good use of the legs on good?Friday. Apian wayism is all about religious wuruwuru and magomago it is a log in the wheel of practical Christianity.
To all who see religion like a suit at can be worn when it useful to us and thrown away when it?s no longer useable and serviceable to meet the demand of their frivolities, I have the following words from Sir Josiah stamp for you ?it is easy to dodge our responsibility, but we cannot dodge the consequence of dodging our responsibility?. The apian way may be appealing but like the ancient wisdom says, all that glitters is not gold. The applause, the miracles, the wealth, the power and the position may not be an approval from God. Shine your eye.
Echoes of Reality
with
Martins Esom (08165148181)
